Deepak Weds Abhilasha - Congratulations !!!!

Yes… I know, it’s a very long post, but it’s just so fascinating being part of a typical north Indian marriage and that too when you are groom’s close friend. It’s fantastic to watch old age traditions still performed with great zeal, celebrating with a big extended family and friends and dancing as if there’s no tomorrow. It’s simply awesome.

One of the most awaited events in my list, finally happened on 12th Feb. Rohit, Pinki and I reached Aligarh on 11th Feb. Rohit with whom, I met after 6 long years. It was a great feeling to be together after long time and to feel the same comfort we shared in college. We reached Aligarh around 2pm. The railway station was bustling with activities, people running to catch their trains, porters running for customers, hawkers selling tea, just like any other busy station.

Deepak’s brother –Atul was there to pick us up. The area outside station was no different with bustling streets, crowded roads, road-side shops, cycle-rickshaws, bullock and buffalo carts and other vehicles. On the way home the city looked to me as if history trying hard to compete with the future. Old style buildings standing next to new architecture, shopping complex competing with road side hawkers and small shops, new age sedans running along with rickshwas and bullock carts. But I couldn’t see what Aligarh is actually famous for the legendary lock-industry (Aligari Tala) and the famous AMU (Aligarh Muslim University). Someone told me that the AMU is little far from there and lock-industry mainly exists in different pockets.
As soon as we come out of city area the roads become wider with relatively less traffic. Harduaganj- Deepak’s home is nearly30 mins drive from city. We received a call from Uncle (Deepak’s Dad) in middle and instead of going home we went to the hotel where arrangements for bride side were made. Uncle met us with a lot of warmth and hugged us. After a few introductions with people from bride side our famished stomach did not allow us to do anything else other than jump to the awesome lunch arranged there. We were treated like VIPs with hot fulkas, sabji, pulao,(ok…my mouth is watering again)etc. getting served to our plates. After a fine lunch and even finer dessert (mung daal halwa) our single minded focus on food relaxed.
Now it was time to meet the bride. I get to know Abhilasha when Deepak first visited Bangalore last year. She is one of the vivacious girls I have seen; emotions just flow on her face and she has answer for every question in this world. She is the perfect match for our Heera, who believes in ‘Talk to the Hand’ approach. Abhilasha was getting ready for the D-day, her Mehendi, with magnificent design painted in her hands and legs, was yet to dry. As per the ritual the groom cannot come or meet the bride till the D-day, so Deepak called us outside. It was fun watching reaction on bride’s and Atul’s face when they were told Deepak is coming in.
We met him and Pintu (his chaddi friend) outside ‘Basant Vatika’, where marriage was planned for next day. The place was already shining with extensive preparation. Now it was the time for the Groom (and his friends) to shine. We went to the only (or is it most famous?) men’s parlor in town. Then for the first time (for me atleast) we had the facial. The groom had the special groom’s facial and we, the mortal beings, had the simple one. It cost us 3 hours and 2 grands to complete the task and the awesome face massage was already adding up to my exhaustion. So after 5 hours of reaching Aligarh, we reached Deepak’s home which was again bustling with multiple activities under Uncle’s guidance. After meeting aunty (who saved our famished souls in Engg College with her tasteful home cooked-packed sweets) and few other relatives we straight went to our room in the first floor.
Rohit and I were down as soon as we saw the bed and stayed there till the BHAAT ceremony started. The bhaat ceremony is essential ritual of the marriage where groom’s mother’s family gift to all the father’s side relatives to celebrate the occasion. It was a good time to test my new FZ28 camera, as I thought that a good camera will make-up for my average skill set. It was an interesting ritual where Uncle was calling all the relatives one-by-one to come and groom’s mamaji gifted and touched feet of all of them. Uncle also called Rohit, Pinki and I for the ritual. I felt honored just to be part of such a happy-lively family.
It was already 12 mid-night and we planned for TILAK ceremony 10 am next morning. In the tilak ceremony the bride’s family welcomes the groom and honors him with gifts. Just like in a typical scenario in marriages with huge number of relatives, multiple activities, busy rooms, busy rest-rooms and a GROOM-who was looking handsome in his Van Heusen suit, we all started around 11 am in Deepak’s swank new Honda city. The ceremony was in ‘Basant Vatika’ where marriage was planned for later in the day. We started with Kachori, sabji and halwa breakfast. We clicked a lot of pictures and met a lot of new people before the ceremony started around 1pm. With panditji guiding the bride and groom’s side with their experienced hands, the ceremony took around an hour to complete. It was again time for our favorite past time – the lunch with Deepak's Salis. Rohit was getting introduced as the ‘guy from America’ to everyone and with his 6’2” height and gym body; he was raking up all the attention, which incidentally he managed very well. And the mortal souls like me were asked to click photos, due to the bulky camera I was roaming around with. Mohit Gupta- our batchmate, statemate from Engg College and my 2nd yr neighbor arrived with his wife and lovely kid. Even though we never shared great rapport during our college time, it was still good to meet him after 6 long years.
The ceremony was over and now we had to run again to the house to get ready and come back for marriage in another 4 hours. We reached home, took some rest and got ready for the marriage. In the house another ceremony NIKRAUSHI where groom’s jijaji dresses the groom for marriage was in progess. It was fun seeing Deepak sitting in just a towel and panditji uttering the Sanskrit shlokas and guiding the rituals. Except a small glitch in between, everything went fine. As Jijaji was unavailable, his brother performed all the rituals and after half an hour our GROOM was looking suave in his cream-golden suit and groom’s turban.
Outside, the band was already playing marriage tunes and the horse was ready for the next ceremony Ghur-Chadi, in which groom ride the horse and start for bride’s house. After few round of rifle fires (which is also a ritual to show-off the authority), our groom tried riding the horse. The horse, which was already intimidated by seeing big crowd, rifle-fires and band noise, was frantic. After a few maneuvers by the experienced horse owner, Deepak was able to sit and the barat started with full pomp and show. Our next ceremony was Kuan-poojan, in which groom take his mother and make rounds around family water-well. The next in line was one more pooja which was done at the first cross after house by groom’s mother.
After that all the rituals before marriage at groom’s place werecompleted and we started for the bride’s house. Akshat, Rohit, Pintu, Rajkumar (Deepaks chaddi friend and an interesting fella) and I started in a van. Once we reached Basant Vatika, we were confused; the groom was still not in. Then someone told me that now there will be another ceremony called ‘Rath-Chadi’ where groom will ride a chariot. All friend-cum-baratis were already there. Met Suhas (after 6 yrs), Tuntun(after 2 yrs), Katta, Ankush and Mishra (after 4 years). It was great to be with people after this long time. So now the Rath-chadi started. Our groom rode the chariot pulled by two horses, a huge band playing hindi numbers and all of us dancing. It was a festive occasion and all of us were celebrating. It took us around an hour to cover that 500 mts distance. At the gate, bride’s side was waiting to welcome us with garlands. Mishra, our enthusiastic (over?) leader placed Deepak on his shoulders and carried him inside.

After the welcome ceremony, next was Jai-Maal where bride and groom put garland on each other and declare their love. Our groom was ready and then the bride came. And then the bride came, in a beautiful half-moon shaped doli, looking like a nymph in her bright dress with golden carvings. Bride and groom then ascended a 10 feet high rotating platform. Now I have seen Jai-Maal before, but on a rotating platform, Never. In the midst of cheering friends and relatives, priest uttering mangal shlokas, and band playing light numbers, both of them declared their love and commitment for each other.
Now it’s the party time before dinner, both bride and groom made to sit in a platform on glittering seats. It was the time for all the families, friends and relatives to wish new couple and yes… get clicked by hired professional photographer for THE wedding album. Next to it, was the disco platform with DJ playing hot Hindi numbers. And, with all the Govinda styledancing skills learnt in college, how can I miss this opportunity. Then, it was the turn for the new couple to burn the dance floor. They obliged happily to the cheering crowd and danced to the DJ tunes. Here I must tell you the secret that Abhilasha (the bride) requested months in advance, to get her to the dance floor as it’s not nice for the bride to start on her own.After an hour of dancing and hundreds on clicks, it’s time for first official dinner together for the new couple. As it was getting late, few guests were already wishing the new couple and leaving the celebrations. The official dinner was a close affair with family members and close friends. It’s already after midnight and most of us were exhausted. Still we decided to wait for the final Saat Phere ceremony. Found out that it’s still good 2-3 hours to go before the ceremony will start. Few other pre-ceremony rituals were yet to take place. One of them was an interesting one, before the bride, his brother had to make rounds around the sacred place with the groom to ensure groom will take care of bride after marriage. On the bride side, ambience was already a bit emotional with the pre-ceremony of officially handing over the daughter. Few other routines passed and with the dropping temperature outside, the exhaustion finally take over the enthusiasm. I couldn't remember most of the ceremony names after mid-night. Think, the detail capturing side of brain is already shut-down. After 3 days of excitement, finally my body was giving up and with the cold outside; I just wanted to roll in a cozy bed, which was not available there.

Forget to mention the Joote-Chori by Salis ceremony, which actually did not happen due to our experienced groom side who actually hidden the groom’s shoes before the ceremony started. Even after hours of searching and cajoling groom’s side, the shoes were nowhere to be found. Here, I must appreciate the Salis who even after losing out, tried desperately by holding the bride hostage and did not allow groom to enter the room for a ceremony. In the end, the groom had to shell out good-but-negotiated amount to end the hostage situation.
I still wanted to attend the last two important rituals, pheras and vidaai, but both Pinki and I had to catch the morning train to Delhi. Rohit and Akshat also had early morning train and they planned to leave directly from the place. We bid adieu to all of them and left for Deepak’s house around 6:30 am in morning.
We had 3 hours to catch some sleep before starting for the station, which before sleeping I predicted was nearly impossible. We woke up around 11 am and hastily packed our stuff. Luckily the train was late for another hour.
Downstairs, the baraat was back with the bride after completing all the rituals. Abhilasha and Deepak were now officially declared Man and Wife. There was still a ceremony left and that groom was not allowed to enter the house till its completion. I felt good to see my dear friend was still in his senses after two sleepless days, attending tens of rituals and was still talking sane albeit looking exhausted.
After bidding adieu and congratulating the new couple and their family, we left the place to catch our train to Delhi, where the next wedding awaited us.
It was one of the best weddings I have ever attended. Typical north Indian style, lavish but well-planned, traditional yet with modern elements, watching my best friend getting married with perfect match, it was one of the memorable events of my life.